headache...

You know that feeling where you feel like the whole weight of all the crummy stuff in the world is just kind of smashing down on you? I've kind of felt that a little bit today. I think it's a mixture of a lot of things...

1- Moving to Arizona in a week.
2- Paying rent once we're there.
3- Finding a job.
4- Getting my student loans finished and convincing the bank that I am who I am, even though I've been moving around a lot.
5- How sad some people sound on the phones when I call them from work.
6- I don't ever want to sound that sad.
7- Changing the oil in my car and Nik's truck.
8- Surviving the next week full of social commitments.
9- Finding my lost (or carelessly discarded) sleeping bag.
10- The documentary I watched this morning.
11- Missing my families.
12- Wanting to always make Nikki happy.
13- Feeling like sometimes I don't.
14- Loving my ankle socks and only having 3 pairs.
15- Is my car's air-conditioning going to go out soon?
16- It is so hot lately.
17- Being nice to people who mean something to me.
18- War.
19- Watching my bank account and planning ahead.
20- Am I forgetting something very important??

So anyway, I don't know if it was good or bad for me to list out all of that stuff like that. I have a headache and I don't think it's because I'm missing any caffeine. I'm all dosed up. I think it's kind of because I've been squeezing my teeth together (not grinding) and kind of nervously squinting my eyes. My life is so hard!

And so good. I can't complain about anything without sounding like a spoiled brat. I feel really delicate and fragile right now. For those of you who know me really well, probably just Nikki and my family, it's easy for me to get all emotional. That's how I feel.

On a quick side note, that article from National Geographic about caffeine referred to drinks and chocolate and stuff as being a "drug delivery system." Funny. I think it's weird to think about a can of Dr. Pepper as being similar to a syringe of heroin. Some drugs are just more culturally acceptable. Hmm......